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Farmer Tony’s broadband
In preparation for Tony’s new, not-so-fast
broadband, enjoy this list of rural Australian computer terminology in this
week’s Friday Funnies.
Log-on: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter
Log off: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.
Monitor: Keeping an eye on the barbie.
Download: Getting the firewood off the ute.
Hard drive: Making the trip back home without any cold
tinnies.
Keyboard: Where you hang the ute keys.
Window: What you shut when the weather's cold.
Screen: What you shut in the mozzie season.
Byte: What mozzies do.
Megabyte: What Townsville mozzies do.
Chip: A pub snack.
Microchip: What's left in the bag after you've eaten the
chips.
Modem: What you did to the lawns.
Laptop: Where the cat sleeps.
Software: Plastic knives and forks you get at Red
Rooster.
Hardware: Stainless steel knives and forks from K-Mart.
Mouse: The small rodent that eats the grain in the
shed.
Mainframe: What holds the shed up.
Web: What spiders make.
Website: Usually in the shed or under the verandah
Search engine: What you do when the ute won't go.
Cursor: What you say when the ute won't go.
Yahoo: What you say when the ute does go.
Upgrade: A steep hill.
Server: The person at the pub who brings out the
counter lunch.
Mail server: The bloke at the pub who brings out the
counter lunch.
User: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.
Network: What you do when you need to repair the
fishing net.
Internet: Where you want the fish to go.
Netscape: What the fish do when they discover a hole in
the net.
Online: Where you hang the washing.
Offline: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't
strong enough.
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Farmer Tony’s broadband
